1. Communication
Many people may say, “Well, duh!” The truth is that a lot of relationships do
not have good communication. This is
something that may just be what’s driving your partner insane.
Things like not making decisions together, keeping things
from each other, or not explaining your feelings to one another are all part of
bad communication. No one can expect
their significant other to read their minds.
Once someone has been together so long, it may seem like they can hear
each other’s thoughts, but they still use communication. Communication is what brought them to this
stage in their relationship. They couldn’t
have learned so much about each other if they were silent all the time.
Therefore, when there’s a big decision that has to be made,
include the one you love in it. Even if
you believe it only affects your life, ask them about it. They might have a different perspective that
you hadn’t even thought of.
Next, don’t keep secrets!
Secrets are like a brick wall between you and your spouse. When you aren’t open with each other, then
you don’t learn about each other. Many
people only want their loved one to know the good things about them, so they
keep their bad habits a secret. This is
what ruins things when you move in together.
It is a lot more difficult to keep secrets when you’re living under the
same roof. Plus, they will definitely
notice your bad habits that you tried to hide.
So be open with your loved one from the start, and tell them everything
about you. Once you break the ice, they
will be more likely to open up to you and everything will go both ways. Believe me, you won’t be the only one with
extreme gas, or the only one that steals the covers at night.
2. Trust
Trust is earned, not given.
Once you break someone’s trust, it is harder to get it back than it was
the first time. This is a hard truth to
learn. Some people are easier to gain
trust than others, and other people can’t trust at all. This is something that you have to expect in
a relationship.
Signs of little or no trust is calling your significant
other multiple times in the day to check on them, or accusing them of stuff
that you believe they did even if they didn’t.
Sometimes you have to take that leap in someone even if it
means getting hurt in the end. That leap
is what makes your relationship. When
you are always walking on your tip toes, your relationship isn’t going to be
enjoyable. The key is to give your loved
one a chance. If you don’t give them
that benefit of a doubt, then you may not get that in return. It isn’t easy to live in a relationship that
has no trust. In that case, you need to
do everything in your power to gain his/her trust and keep it.
There are ways to do this; some I’ve already mentioned:
a.
Honesty: Always be honest about what’s going on,
and don’t keep secrets.
b.
Loyalty: This includes not cheating on your
loved one, and many other things that I’ll mention later.
c.
Communication: When you talk to your loved one
about everything, they will gain more trust in you.
These are just a few of the ways that you can gain trust
from your spouse. Remember, once you make
one mistake and lose that trust, it is harder to get it back. So think before you do something.
3. Loyalty
Ever heard that saying, “You can look, but you can’t touch.”? Unfortunately, many people go by this. They believe that they can look at a girl’s
chest, or a guy’s butt and get away with it because they didn’t actually do
anything. What they don’t think about is
how that makes their loved one feel.
When you do this, you are disrespecting that person that you
love. Do you love that girl walking down
the street, or that guy walking without a shirt on? No, I’m sure you don’t because you don’t know
them. You don’t understand what makes
them tick, or what they enjoy doing. You
only see what they look like, and people can look attractive on the outside,
but be completely ugly on the inside.
Plus, when you look at someone in that way, it tempts
you. You may think, “Oh, I would love to
have her/him in my bedroom.” Sadly, this
is what causes people to cheat. You may
not think that you would follow through with those thoughts, but eventually you
might. Maybe you got in an argument, and
you don’t feel good about your relationship right at that time. So you go out and cheat on your significant
other. Then, you come home, and he/she
has made dinner for you to make up for the fight.
How would that make you feel? Obviously, you would feel horrible for what
you had just done, but would you tell them?
Many people wouldn’t because they wouldn’t want another fight, or they
would be scared that this would end their relationship. This makes a secret, and a big one at
that. Again, secrets are a brick
wall. And all secrets add to another
secret which in turn adds to another brick wall. Eventually you won’t be able to even reach
your loved one because the brick wall is so thick and tall.
Just think about it.
One brick wall falling doesn’t make that much of a mess, right? But think about five falling. That’s not too bad. Now think about fifteen. We’re getting pretty messy, huh? What about fifty? Now we’re talking about a serious
clean-up.
One secret may not be that bad, but one always leads to
another, and another, and another. One
may not ruin a relationship, but more than one might. Not only that, but you don’t normally get
caught with one secret. A lot of times
what happens is once they find out one thing, the whole ball of secrets comes
into play because they figured it out.
This is what makes the mess. This
is what ends relationships.
So be loyal, and don’t cheat on your significant other. Keep your eyes on the one that you love
because that’s where they belong, and show them that you only love them. This will keep your relationship going
strong.
4. Respect
This involves being loyal, but many other things are
included. Respect is a big part in a
relationship. When all you do is put
that person down, and treat them like a dog, then your relationship isn’t going
to last. Your loved one needs
respect. So how can you respect
them?
Well, in order to respect someone you have to put yourselves
in their shoes. You need to understand
what they go through every day. Once you
learn to think of that, it will be easier to respect them. This may include respecting that they work
long hours, or that they are very close to their parents.
Now how can we respect these things? Well, if they work long hours, you should get
things done before they get home. You
should not wait for them to get home and ask them to help you. They have had a long day, and it is nice to
come home to a clean house where they can relax for the rest of the day. Also, if they are very close to their
parents, even if you aren’t, you need to respect this. Don’t make fun of them for calling their
parents so often, or going to visit them a lot.
You may not feel the same way, but everyone is different.
Respect also includes watching what you say. Arguments happen in relationships, but it’s
how you handle that argument. Respect is
not screaming at each other, or getting into each other’s faces.
These are just a few ways that you can have an argument
respectfully:
a.
Keep your voice down. No one appreciates being yelled at.
b.
Listen. It’s
always better to listen then talk. You learn
more this way, and you often save yourself by not saying what comes to your
mind first.
c.
Don’t try and talk over each other. The point is to listen, learn, and take turns
talking. You won’t get anywhere if you
keep talking over each other.
d.
Understand.
Don’t just think it’s your way or no way. You have to understand their side.
There is many ways to respect the one you love, but keep
these in mind. They have the ability to
change your relationship for the better if you follow through.
5. Miscellaneous
Miscellaneous can include surprises, or just anything. Most of the things I’ve stated above are kind
of expected. They are not the special
things that sends your spouse head over heels, but they will definitely bring a
huge difference. But the miscellaneous
things will be what makes your relationship the best you can make it.
Like I said, miscellaneous is like surprises. It’s anything that you wouldn’t do
normally. Maybe buy your girl flowers
and chocolates, or if you want to go all out, a piece of jewelry. Girls, if you don’t make dinner for them
already, surprise them with a nice dinner.
Guys you can do this too. Don’t
forget to go out on dates where you can have your much needed alone time.
There is an infinite amount of things that you could do for
your significant other to surprise them.
The key is for it to be something that you wouldn’t normally do, and
something that they wouldn’t expect of you.
This will make it even more special.
There you have it.
These are the five ways I’ve found that make a relationship as perfect
as it can be. Even if a relationship can’t
be absolutely perfect, you can make it really close.
This is all from my personal experience, and what has worked
for us. All of these things are a
lifesaver, and we continue to use these every day. It’s saved our relationship, and made it a
healthier and happier engagement. With
the stress of life, you need that person to come home to that makes you the
happiest person in the world.
Keep in mind that this may not work for everyone. Again, this is based on my personal
experiences. These five steps should
bring a change to your relationship, and bring love back to life.
